I stood behind the bleachers sweating in my sparkly velvet uniform at the end of the second quarter. I held hands with my fellow teammates as Silver Star Director Cyndi Vaughn gave her usual pre-performance pep talk, but something felt different. I felt my hands start to shake and my breath begin to shorten. Thoughts of self-doubt and anxiety rushed through my head. I didn’t know what was happening.

After spending some time in therapy, I realized I was having my first panic attack.

My freshman year of high school was definitely a big change for me. My middle school did not prepare me for the work ahead. Through many stressful nights of racing thoughts and overwhelming school work, I finally went to my mom and introduced the idea that I might have anxiety. This conversation led to a possible solution: therapy. 

I had always thought of therapy as something to be ashamed of. I never heard anyone talk about it. It was something you kept to yourself. I considered the idea but didn’t really think it would help. 

When I finally decided to try therapy, I stepped into the office and absolutely hated it. I felt I couldn’t talk to the therapist. She didn’t seem to be helping me and we weren’t talking about my problems, just random topics. I realized this wasn’t working and decided to stop seeing her.

Two months later, Humble ISD held a mental health fair where different therapists and psychologists came out and talked to you about what they offered. I walked around the large cafeteria filled with people when one table in particular caught my eye. They had games, activities, coloring pages and stickers. She made therapy seem like a fun experience. I introduced myself, took a business card and continued walking.

About a week later, my mom reached out to the lady from the table and I got an appointment. I was nervous to try therapy again. I didn’t know whether or not it would help after the failed first attempt. When I finally logged on to my first session with my new therapist, everything changed. I felt free to talk about whatever I needed to get off my chest, things I couldn’t tell my friends or my parents. She gave me strategies to help me get through the hard moments of my anxiety journey – something I had never had before.

My therapist has helped me immensely with my mental, social and academic struggles. If I never went to that fair and stopped at that table, I don’t know where I would be right now. 

Therapy is definitely not one-size-fits-all. There are many therapists out there willing to help, you just have to find the right one for you. 

Therapy is definitely not something anyone should be ashamed of. It is a tool many use to help get through hard patches in life. I think many of us could benefit from therapy but are too scared of the stigma attached to the word. It should be something that is talked about more so people see it as an opportunity rather than something they should hide.