When I walked into the cinema on a particularly hot Tuesday night I did not imagine my expectations could be any lower. When I got to my seat and saw I was the only soul in the theater, I did not think they could be any lower. When the opening title sequence started and I heard the agitating, unpleasant soundtrack I did not believe my expectations could possibly be lowered, Then I saw the rest of the movie and realized that they were in fact far too high.
The Conjuring: Last Rites is a 2025 horror film directed by Michael Chaves (The Curse of La Llorona, The Nun II) and written by Ian Goldberg (Fear the Walking Dead) starring Patrick Wilson (The Phantom of the Opera, Insidious) and Vera Farmiga (The Departed, Orphan). It is the latest in the Conjuring series of movies following the exploits of renowned exorcists and demonologists the Warren family. The film was marketed as the final chapter of the “Warren Saga” of the franchise putting an end to their adventures and going forward with spinoffs set in the same universe like the Annabelle or Nun series of flicks. On social media, the film received a moderate amount of hype due to its status as a page ender to a long and iconic series of horror movies; but it ultimately seemed to be stifled due to more well-received horror movies releasing soon before, (Weapons) and after (Him).
The most apparent misstep to the average viewer – due to it assaulting their ears as soon as they sit down – is the downright abysmal score. Written by the forever untalented Wallfisch, the score of the Conjuring: Last Rites would be blessed to be called boring, instead it is grating, nauseating even. To this moment, I find it difficult to recall pivotal moments of the story because once I think of a scene and am thus reminded of the music in this film, I get an intense brain rending headache that sends any ideas I may have had down the drain. The camera work from Chaves is relatively inoffensive compared to the music but still ultimately uninspiring. Expect lots of dark hallways, tracking shots, and stale “dramatic irony” blocking where you can see the demon but the character can’t, baiting the audience into some cheap form of concern before paying off with nothing. In an era of horror renaissance that the recent years have been, being so stuck in the conventions of mid budget 2010s paranormal activity ripoffs is frankly embarrassing.
The lead performances from Wilson and Farmiga are perfectly passable but in the end they do not save this movie from its fate. That being boring and pointless mediocrity. I can not say the same for the side characters in the film who are either completely forgettable the second they are not on screen or actively detrimental to the viewing experience. Acting of course is subjective and can be interpreted in many ways depending on how the viewer sees the movie. Sillier films like the cult classic “Killer Klowns from Outer Space” is helped by the hammy melodrama of its main cast and, more serious movies like hereditary require the complete and total dedication to the script from its actors to work. The performances in the conjuring are neither funny enough to be entertaining or serious enough to be gripping, the actors clocked in and clocked out like this was a Jersey Mike’s and not a serious attempt at narrative cinema.
The writing itself does no one any favors. Disgustingly schmaltzy and sentimental at best, painfully stupid and vapid at worst. The script should be hung from the walls of classrooms everywhere, not only as a form of righteous capital punishment, but as an example of how to best bore your audience into a coma. The story is simply not interesting, neither is the world this film is trying to get you to buy into.
The Warrens are back doing the same thing they’ve always done but instead of a haunted doll or a satanic abbess it is a regular household item (With horrible CGI at that). Not surprisingly this does not keep anyone glued to their seats. A better movie could have attempted a meta commentary with the mirror about how these franchise films are always looking to the past for guidance while being too afraid to analyze themselves deeply, or perhaps a more surface level look at the characters recollecting with their actions in the spiritual world and maybe their hand in the proliferation of supernatural occurrences, or the ethics of profiting off of family’s pain. The movie does not try this, Lorraine Warren gets a scary vision in the mirror and it goes on to haunt the yokel of the week’s house and that’s it.
Last and certainly least, we have the reason people were manipulated into going to see this: the scares. The film is not scary, it barely even tried to be scary. “Weapons” from Zach Cregger, which I saw the week before is also not that scary (relative to other popular horror films) but it had high points that balanced out the lack of conventional fear factor, even then Weapons is scarier than this drivel. I hope you like jump scares because you will see a lot of them. Because clearly studios understand if it doesn’t work the first time, it will work the 67th time and does not get annoying and break the pace of the film. If you want something on the same level of creepy, I suggest Notting Hill, Tarzan, or the Paw Patrol Movie.
In conclusion, do not watch this movie, do not think about this movie and certainly don’t spend your money on this movie. If you enjoy the Conjuring franchise, rewatch the first one and then maybe attempt getting into other, better horror films more worth your time.
