January 13, 2020
Today was a very productive day. I got all my work done in all of my classes, and came home and cleaned my entire room. On any other given day, I would have come home and scrolled through TikTok in my bed for a good three hours. Not having to worry about homework assignments or a messy room lifted much stress off of my shoulders, and I was in bed by 8 p.m. I was never truly aware of how much of my day being on social media chews up. It feels like there are 30 hours in the day now instead of 24. Not being able to see what other people, who I don’t even talk to, are doing 24/7 has been relieving. I often catch myself comparing my life, body or face to others on social media. I’ve noticed that I’m much more content and confident without this constant access to comparison.
I have hit a low. I have completely replaced social media with watching Netflix, which makes me want to keep watching episode after episode and I have horrible FOMO. I feel as if because I’m not seeing the same things or keeping up with everyone, I’m missing something important. My screen time had gone down significantly until today because I kept watching Netflix, which I am honestly very disappointed about.
It’s the third day of the social media fast and it’s starting to feel like a punishment. I realized that I use social media as a way to decompress during or after school; I get to think about something else other than school and work, so without being able to do that I feel more stressed and more irritable. I’ve been listening to music a lot more but I left my headphones at home today so I couldn’t do that for most of the day. My friends have been sending me some TikToks over text, and seeing those few makes me want to get back on the app, but I can’t. I feel a little left out because of that but mostly I’m annoyed that I can’t go on whatever app I want when I want to. I’m ready for this challenge to be over because it’s just getting harder everyday and it’s too tempting to see the apps and not be able to use them. I don’t have an unhealthy relationship with social media, so it’s just inconvenient to have my habits restricted at this point.
Today has been a rough day in general, but to be honest I think it would have been worse with social media. I didn’t do great on the algebra test I had studied for, but not having social media helped me cope with it. When I told my mom my grade, she wasn’t upset because she knew that I studied hard last night and hadn’t been distracted by social media. It wasn’t like I was distracted on TikTok and Instagram and that’s why I did poorly on my test. Today, I’ve decided I’m not going to redownload TikTok when this week is over because of how much better my week has been without it. I honestly believe that without social media I’ve been a happier and more social person this week. I would also like to add that I have really gotten some good quality YouTube time without my social media. I’m good at managing my time on YouTube, because videos are a set amount of time, while scrolling the Twitter-verse is endless. Today I watched someone rank the Dance Moms cast (only the adults though) and I watched a compilation of Yolanda Hadid telling Gigi Hadid not to eat for two minutes straight.