Growing up in a Christian household, my mother never failed to evangelize to us over any and everything. She had this habit of spontaneously sitting me and my siblings down to talk about one thing or the other and it always circled back to how we should obey our parents as if that was the only verse in the Bible. My mother still does it to this day, except the theatrics have gotten even more comical. But even though we talked about God and went to church, I don’t think we ever engaged piously. Personally, I don’t think I truly understood who God was.
My first personal encounter with God was when I was 10 years old. That was some years after my parents’ separation, which resulted in me living with my father and stepmother. Unlike my mother, my father is a Messianic Jew. He enforced strict rules in our household that, over time, became more of a lifestyle than an obligation. Secular music was prohibited, foul languages were highly frowned upon, and anything that merely resembled waywardness was just not allowed. “If Yeshua (Jesus) wouldn’t do it, you shouldn’t be thinking about it.” That was the unspoken rule in our household. Consequently, I developed the attributes I believed my father was hoping to instill. I allowed his rules to culture me, and with time, it became intrinsic. I feared God and revered His commandments.
A few months before I turned 11, I was preparing for my secondary school entrance exam. It was the most important exam to any elementary school student because it determined graduation and admission to their desired school. I had my sights set on a particular school, and I didn’t want any factor on my end to be the reason I didn’t get in. My goal was to graduate with distinctions and I was convinced that if it was by my might alone, it was impossible. So for the very first time in my life, I made a conscious decision to put my trust in God. I devoted myself to fasting and praying for 11 hours each day leading up to the day of the exam. My close friends soon joined me, and we formed a mini prayer/study group. I didn’t know what I thought, but I was stubborn as I was convinced that it was going to work. One can say that that’s where my faith was born.
I did really well on my exams. I didn’t get all A’s like I expected, but my grades were good enough to get me in the school I applied to. I got enrolled in secondary school and discovered a whole new world. A vast array of personalities and lifestyles, significantly different from what elementary school was like. With those differences came uniqueness and individuality, and a system created to nurture them. With that, I was able to find my core, and I was able to find what pertained to me, even as a Messianic Jew, with slight religious nuance.
Upon enrollment, I joined the Fellowship of Christian Students (FCS), where I met people who left a lasting impact on my life. They taught me to not just fear God but to love Him as well. The fear of the Lord is only the beginning of wisdom, thus there was a lot more to creating an intimacy with Him. I tendered my relationship with God to the point where I didn’t need my parents or peers to constantly guide me to keep me on track, even though it was something I appreciated. With that newfound autonomy, I gained the maturity and discernment I needed to find my way with Him, and having found it now, I don’t feel the need to define it using specific religious labels and categorizations.
Labels serve a purpose, true, but they don’t exactly add any quality. To me, the essence of faith transcends man-made definitions, so there is no logic in limiting it. My faith is rooted in a deep, personal connection with Yeshua the Messiah (Jesus Christ), and my whole being is to follow in His footsteps. That is what matters to me. I believe I’m one of the happiest people on Earth to have found God; because it has brought me peace and, amidst other things, has given me a wholesome identity.
From the fervent evangelism of my mother to the disciplined teachings of my Messianic Jewish father, each experience leading up to this moment has shaped my understanding of faith, and I am more than proud to affirm it.
